Style Defined
Let’s get one thing straight: having money, even lots of it, doesn’t automatically give a person style. Conversely, it must be said, neither does a lack of money preclude anyone from possessing style. Like sex appeal, style is indefinable; someone either has it or they don’t. Unlike sex appeal however (which is more in the nature of a birthright), style can be acquired.
People all too readily fall into the trap of assuming that having the right house, car and clothes automatically endows them with style. Regrettably, this is rarely so – style is about so much more than material accessories. In fact, very few people are blessed with true innate style. Most of us have to work at it, which is why those that possess a singular sense of style stand out from the crowd.
Names from the past and present that spring to mind are Cary Grant, Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother, Jackie Onassis, Pavarotti, Anthony Eden, David Niven, Audrey Hepburn, Lord Louis Mountbatten, Joanna Lumley and Princess Diana. We can all recall meeting someone in everyday life, perhaps only briefly, who with their own brand of magic made a lasting, even a lifetime, impression on our psyches. Spellbound, we savoured their company and when they moved on they left a gap or even a sense of loss in our lives.
So what exactly is style? Only a fool would say it is easy to define in precise terms; it is something intangible. The good news, though, is that it is not impossible to acquire. One has only to look at the story of Princess Diana, who from a shy, if aristocratic, nursery school teacher, was transformed into one of the most beautiful and charismatic women in the world. Her short and controversial life was hardly plain sailing and yet, through rock-solid determination, dedication and applied intelligence, she changed from a gawky gazelle into an icon of poise, charm and sophistication.
During the very early years of her marriage Diana was a product of the ‘palace elders’. Her style was becoming, but nevertheless heavily influenced by the Royal Family. With the passing years, however, through trial and error, she had the confidence and courage to shed and ignore advisors and develop her own unique style, which captivated elder statesmen and schoolchildren alike.
As well as being exquisitely groomed, she was compassionate and constantly tried to give those she met a real sense of their own worth. This extended not only to fine-tuned research but even so far as learning the difficult and unnatural language of the deaf. Whether talking gently to Aids victims or attending a charity ball, she left in her wake a sense of well-being and grand occasion, thus clearly illustrating that style is about so much more than appearance.
In Britain the seeds of style are, more often than not, sown in early youth, when the right environment teaches the basics; after that it is up to the individual to follow through. There are some though, at the top of the social tree, who, in spite of every conceivable advantage slip through the net and let the side down, behaving badly and using their position as a formidable lever to get their own way. These people are boorish and inconsiderate and sadly should know better, proving conclusively that money, power and style are not automatic bedfellows.
To summarise, one could safely say that style closely resembles a jigsaw made up of qualities and attributes which, when pieced together, draw a picture that is both pleasing and charismatic. Individual idiosyncrasies can also be deliberately fashioned to enrich the overall effect with gestures such as the angle of a hat, a minute trick with a scarf, the way a cigarette is lit or even the way a newspaper is opened. But beware, designer style can be just as ‘naff’ as overdoing the designer labels. Never for one moment should style look contrived, all should be implemented with great aplomb and an easy carelessness.
Historically the ‘British elite’ have always held a fascination for their foreign neighbours. In the Golden Age of Travel, when many English gentlemen took their families on the ‘Grand Tour’, the British Empire was still at the height of its power and influence. This led the upper classes to believe it was their duty, if not their inborn right, to set and uphold certain standards and codes of behaviour.
Cutting a dash wherever they went the English were regarded with a mixture of amused tolerance or utter bewilderment. Armed with utter self-confidence, they took their ingrained habits and eccentric rituals all over the world, adding to a mystique that was both nonsensical and yet compelling. Not without just cause did Noel Coward pen ‘…mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun’. Undeterred by the sweltering heat of the tropics, the English gentleman would behave exactly as he would have at home, i.e. dressing in full evening dress for dinner and drinking hot tea in scorching temperatures.
Since those halcyon days a particular form of classic and timeless English style has evolved and is generally recognised as a mixture of worthy qualities. These include self-assurance, charm, good taste, bearing, an ability to cope, consideration and compassion to others, poise, an unfaltering eye for colour and form, an ear for music, a discerning palate, an unerring memory for names and faces, a proficiency in the world at large, a quick sense of humour and, of course, indefatigable good manners. In Britain the latter facility would be considered a major component of style; as illustrated by the following tale.
Several years ago so the story goes, when good manners were not such a thing of the past, a senior crown equerry was tearing along a corridor, obviously fully occupied by his own problems, when he had the misfortune to bump into a garrulous society hostess of his acquaintance, who was wont to parade her list of important conquests to any willing (or unwilling) audience. After ten minutes of polite exchanges the unlucky victim, with the aid of a disarming smile, was finally able to unravel himself from the situation saying: ‘If you will excuse me madam, I really am in rather a hurry – you see, I have just heard that my house is on fire!’ Now I’m sure you will agree that this chap had real style!
Related Sections:
The Aristocracy Revealed
The Aristocracy Revealed - 2
A Guide to Aristocratic Titles
Correct Social Address
Classic English Manners
House Guest Etiquette
An Invitation to Buckingham Palace
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